November 9th for a Black Woman

I fell asleep around 11pm and woke up at 2 am. My phone was going off and the light of my phone hit my eyes and woke me up. I have a lot of people I follow on twitter on notifications so I saw so many and I was in shock, numb, in disbelief that this is the result.

I was set on Hillary Clinton winning, I didn’t even let the thought of her not winning get in my head which is why I was so shocked and blown away by what actually happened. It was hard to process, I scrolled twitter excessively and then 20 minutes later, the fear set in and the tears started rolling. The fear of not knowing if my my LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters will be okay if my family will be okay, my little brother who travels a hour to school alone will be okay. If I will be okay going 15 minutes from home to school. If Muslims would fear for their lives and afraid to express their religion. I was afraid that America would lose all its ever bragged about: its diversity and its pride in that.

I am a black woman whose ancestors were bought to this country against their will because white people were greedy and lazy as hell, basically. And so they take us from our land, take someone else’s land and then build a society that thrives on hating everyone but themselves. Why are people so insistent upon living in hate? They should have just left us black people in Africa with our beautiful, thriving land instead of this system that hates everything I and my people are.

I dont really want to talk about the man who is going to run this country but I want to offer support and a heart and an ear to those suffering. Those who are afraid they will be separated from their families, that they will encounter blatant sexism, homophobia or racism, xenophobia, etc, those who recently came out and are running deep back into that closet, those who have dealt with sexual assault and seeing a man who has been accused of rape now run this country. He installs fear in a lot of this country because a lot of this country is not all white men. White straight men. White wealthy old white men. He doesn’t understand what it means to struggle to have every system in the country be against you. What it means to fear for your life because other people are ignorant and intolerant.

But we understand that. It’s hard to harbor on what happened but it happened. And lets hope this brings us together more than anything has in our generation. That we are fighters, believers in equality and will continue to be unapologetic, proud of our beliefs and the change we wish to make in the world. We will have setbacks, we will have boundaries and boulders in our way but as the iconic Travis from Hannah Montana movie says,

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This is hard to understand and process. But lets try to remember all the beautiful beings and beautiful things that still exist in this world. Lets absorb all the good the universe has gifted us as much as possible to forget that this country may have transported in time.

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