You have probably heard the phrase, “You’ve changed” used in a negative context. When you hang out with people you haven’t seen in a while, they’ll say you changed. If you are an avid watcher of youtube, fans always comment on videos of the creator saying, “You changed” like obviously, you’ve been watching the person for 5 years from 15 to 20. They’re an adult now, change is supposed to occur.
Whether it’s students getting a new teacher, moving, adapting to parents getting a divorce, having a new sibling, social media changing their layouts and features, celebrities changing, people get upset. We get upset because things are changing. And we get nostalgic thinking about our past, because things have changed. We were comfortable with the way things were, it was something familiar that we adapted to and now that change is throwing our comfortability out of whack. We are forced to adapt to these changes we do not have control over. so when people say you’ve changed or you immediately bash the new layout of instagram or the new friend your best friend has, it’s most likely because you do not like change and are not uncomfortable with new things.
And I think this is why a lot of people are inclined to discriminate or dislike LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, people of color or any oppressed group. It’s because it may be something completely unfamiliar for them. When our parents were growing up, they didn’t know the terms pansexual or transgender. That wasn’t a thing and then the term was coined and their children and peers are identifying as such and it’s throwing their comfortability out of whack. You are basically telling them everything they ever thought or knew about sexuality and gender is wrong because there is more than two sexualities and more than two genders.
I work at an LGBTQ+ organization and we work with students. One of the students is FTM (Female to Male transgender) and is having a hard time trying to get his mom to use his correct pronouns or their guy name. His mom tells him, “Say there’s a table. That table is blue, it is clear to everyone that that table is blue. You telling me about transgender is like telling me that the table is red when I clearly see it is blue.” The mom was not trying to be disrespectful at all, she was just trying to her child to see her perspective and why it’s so hard for her to understand her son. And that made sense to the son, he understood that it’s telling your mom everything she ever knew in her life wasn’t true and that someone could actually be born in the wrong body. Even something a little less complex like race, it is still difficult for people to accept people different than them because they have to adapt to something new. Especially a white person who may have grown up around all white people and suddenly they meet a black or muslim person and it’s like oh, this world is not just people who like me and that may confuse them. Just like we push away social media platforms when they change or are hesitant about anything that’s changing in life, seeing different people is something new for them that they have to adapt to and understand that this world is not just the white privileged people they have been so used to.
And I am not at all okaying discrimination and hatred based on the way people are. And obviously the problem arises when those ignorant people are using their misunderstanding to oppress others rather than educating themselves and opening themselves up to change. If anything, I despise when people discriminate on anything or anyone that is different than them but I think looking at why people may think like this, can help us in educating those who are willing to listen. There are obviously other influences to people’s discrimination but overall, I think a lot of it stems from adapting to something so unfamiliar to you.
We need to learn to accept change, not only will we be more tolerant of those who are different than us but it allows us to grow, to meet new people, to allow different possibilities within our lives. Change can be good and when we live life with open arms, then we an explore all life has to offer us.
What are your thoughts? let me know
all the love x movesandmountains